Monday, January 28, 2008
3:41 PM
Being down with the flu on your offday isn’t the most pleasant thing but yeah, it frees up time for blogging. Maybe this blog has some life in it yet! Okay I must be mad, I’m talking in soliloquies.
Turning the big One-Nine not too long ago, I felt old. Though it was much brightened thanks to birthday wishes from Steph, Mother Earth, J Loke, Timo, Mark, Ruth, Nick, Lydia from Maths class, Lydia from church, Wen Jun, Jan, Bird and fellow Jan 13 babies, Tanya and Ziyan. And also from the 3 As at office haha. Even though many of ya don’t know this blog exists, thank you lovely people! Thanks so much for the dinner treat at NYDC too, Tammy, 3sa and Lydia! Sorry if I missed anyone out, my memory’s declining with age. (:
Anyway Chaoyang asked me abt my birthday wish and I told him a few, like consolidating VJ Cell and breakthroughs in work, the dreaded As and army. Deep inside, I knew my faith in God had diminished recently. And though I’ve confessed before to VJ Cell how my faith is wavering, the journey is very much my own. I’ve heard of the spiritual emptiness in army and all and I really hope I don’t backslide again.
Finally took my SATs last Sat and saw a few old friends like Yinning and Yuru as well. The paper left me kinda dazed coz it was cumulatively 5 hours plus but I guess it went okay. While I was cycling post-exam with Danae and Zhiyang, I reflected a little on the past 19 years of my life and somehow it feels like I have wasted a large part of it. A topsy-turvy journey of highs and lows, quirky nonsense like climbing over VJ’s barbed wire fencing with Timo and the inability to give up some things from yesteryear.
I forgot everything over Torrance’s bday dinner at the new Ms Clarity’s with all the cranky jokes and Candice’s virtuoso performance on the piano (haha you should work there, really!) but that sinking feeling came back to me again today.
It’s time to let go. And get on with the rest of life.
Clara once said typing out your frustrations can be therapeutic. She’s right, I feel better already.