Over and Out

2008-11-27T15:09:00.004+08:00

Blog closed. Might be relinked or not, but then again how does it matter?

2008-10-19T22:57:00.002+08:00

This post is very much on impulse.

I stumbled upon this when I was surfing around and it puts my latent emotions into words.

"When I announced that I would be speaking on the minibond issue at Speaker’s Corner (Hong Lim Green), a friend (who previously contested in the election under the Workers’ Party) sent an e-mail to me from Hong Kong. He advised me to be careful and not be say anything that is defamatory that could get me sued to bankrupcy.

He quoted incidences of candidates that were sued for statements that appear to be questioning something that is wrong. A few other people, including a lawyer, also warned me to “be careful”.

If I listened to their advice, I would not be saying anything. It is so dangerous to speak in Singapore. People are so fearful of saying something that can lead to being sued, even if they do not have any bad intent.

I had to look for someone to interprete my speech into Chinese. I asked many people to come forward. Some agreed first, and later declined. They cited “pressure from family members”. It was so difficult to get someone, even to interprete for me.

Is this the kind of society that our minister is so proud about? A society where people are fearful to speak up, in case they make a slip and get be sued till bankrupt? We should be ashamed of this sad state of affairs in Singapore."

Courtesy of tankinlian.blogspot.com

Ok I'm not going to type much more abt it (self-censorship.) but cheers to the man helping ordinary folk who lost more than $500 million of their savings stand up on their feet.

More people like him will make the world a better place.

Anyway I'm going to steer off typing about NS cause it's a sign that the SAF has claimed my brain juice even on weekends. And that's serious. But for those who might actually read this post (negligible given the time this blog has been abandoned), camp life is dreary but alright.

Weekends make my week though. Whether is it catching up with the busy lawyer girl frm smu over a morning run at Pasir Ris or the samba drummer over dinner at Sizzlers or even random bridge sessions at Changi Airport, somehow everything seems a little brighter after that. Quite hard to feel low especially after erm..jumping on cows ytd haha.

It's you guys who help me remain sane in this insane world. (:

Alright till next time!

2008-09-07T00:29:00.000+08:00

When NSmen are really bored, we end up playing with stones.

Haha seriously. Just ask my sentry duty buddy for all of 16 hours yesterday.

Sometimes I feel stay-in units/command school takes away so much of your time, whatever little you have remaining is used to catch up with loved ones, movies etc..you barely retain a grip on your civilian life, your personal identity.

One year, five months more. Seems like light years away.

Deflect

2008-06-07T23:52:00.002+08:00

It's 4 days from POP and it suddenly struck me that I haven't blogged in a long while.

Army life has made me more acutely aware of the things I miss out in civilian life. The freedom to sleep in and get up at humane times (ie. 9am and beyond), time to chillout whenever I feel like it and yes, even time to blog.

Looking back, I guess having good bunkmates really help. The first day seemed so long ago, when everyone didn't know anyone and I was struggling to remember names. The times of thrice-daily Stand By Areas and countless tekan sessions outfield and in camp, the sianness of being enlisted for sai kang perpetually, our regular post-bookout comfort meals, our equally regular night picnics and post lights-out talk cock sessions and finally the BBQ and stayover at Kee Yang's place yesterday. They made being Section IC for the past nine weeks a breeze though of course there were moments when we simply wanted to strangle each other in frustration. Will honestly miss all the fun and camaraderie we had when we get posted out.

Oh and my bunkmate Alwyn is actually born on the same day, place and almost the same time as me. So much for coincidences.

Alright enough of army recollections.

For starters, I cannot say how glad I was when Man U won the EPL and Champions League. My platoon mates (even the Liverpool and Chelsea fans) and I were chanting Glory Glory Man United all day after water parades and cheers. Cause my instructor is a huge Man U fan. Heh.

Had a quirky ride on the Flyer with Tam today and the view was great. And then post-Flyer ice-cream binging at the Esplanade! Plans to set up a business with another friend are also proceeding relatively smoothly so hopefully we get something going soon enough, slackers as we are.

Also met up a few times with the VJcellers and also the Stanchart people to catch Ironman sometime back. Life would be ideal if not for the fact that I'll have to book in tmr night, albeit for the last time before block leave.

As for unis, I chose NUS eventually but I'm still unsure if I made the right choice. Well, there's always a year and seven months left to think about things.

Army really changes your perception of time.

Off kilter

2008-03-28T00:18:00.002+08:00

There are some days when you want to hibernate for a while.

Today is one of those days.

Break from Convention

2008-03-24T02:08:00.006+08:00

'I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that it gets better as we go.'

Been ages since I've listened to this great song by Three Doors Down but it struck a chord in me when I heard it after doing a shuffle through my music files.

That line pretty much sums up how I feel right now.

Today in church, as we sang songs of celebration and hymns to mark Easter, I recalled Aaron's words. Even though I didn't tell him explicitly, I agreed with him wholeheartedly as it was something I noticed sometime back. The church and its rituals were becoming obligatory, rather than instilled with genuine intent and love. And I was telling J. Loke, the last time we spoke, about how youths in Charismatic churches, even some who have been in the faith for sometime, often mouth melodic words of adoration without realising what they are conveying or even what they mean.

Ok it's important to make things clear, I'm not being hypocritical or launching a religious tirade. There was a time when I too thought it was all about getting a religious high, jumping the highest and shouting the loudest. These are good but you know...I'm just glad that we're entering into a year of fostering intimacy with the Lord, getting back to the basics. Because that's what being a Christian is all about, really.

Cue the VJ Cell meeting at Istana Park on Monday. Before that was dinner at Pastamania and we had a good chat about everything under the sun while waiting for Bird. I told the guys I didn't have a message for the first time as recently I've been feeling spiritually weary. Nonetheless, the power of testimony was manifested as we shared our stories and prayed for each other as a body in Christ.

From a heart of gratitude, thank you Lord for granting me this wonderful ministry for the past one and a half years.

Had dinner out with the Historians the night after and it was nice catching up over NYDC and pool. Though we all concurred the desserts are overpriced haha. Also had a couple of coffee breaks with an old friend and we discussed the prospects of setting up a business while in NS. Ambitious plans but many things are still up in the air. Oh and it was a pleasant surprise that John and Alyssa were selected for the photoshoot for this week's GenY. Had'nt spoken to them in a while.

Blogging at 2 plus in the morning is pretty cool. Won't be much longer since Tekong beckons though.

This is quite an incoherent entry.

A Levels

2008-03-08T13:21:00.003+08:00

This is going to be a rather emotional post.

The foundations of some things I've been building for very long came tumbling down yesterday. I think it's impossible to start on how disappointed I feel with my results. Suddenly where I thought I was headed for the past two years fade away before my eyes.

And I've not answered the barrage of smses and calls from concerned friends asking me about my results. I'm not being aloof, it's just that it's so hard to answer.

I embarked on a late-night run yesterday to sort out and run some thoughts thru my head. How i was once in the VJC Scholarship Programme, aced essays, did really well for pretty much everything.

And where I could possibly go now.

Thanks for the support from you guys, you know who you are. I really appreciate the encouragement, phone conversations and messages. It has helped to make the blow a little less bitter.

This is going to take sometime to get over.

Breather

2008-03-04T15:07:00.004+08:00

66 words

I never really liked these stuff. But this one was quite fun, esp when you're bored at work and munching on nuts. The occasional breathers on Tuesdays before the whole rush begins.

Catching up with close friends over dinners and movies since I've gotten my paycheck will actually make this week quite fulfilling if not for Friday. To cellmates and friends, though I know most of you don't even know this blog exists, I'll be praying for u guys. And I'm sure we'll be heading in the right direction. (:

Sidenote

2008-02-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

Worship songs are such a blessing to listen to. I'm actually glad FCBC is returning to hymnal ones (though the loud ones are always good at raising the tempo) and there's one that keeps recurring in my mind. One line in particular:

'And Lord, we want to thank You For the works You've done in our lives'

Oh there are so many things to thank the Lord for yet I continue to take His blessings for granted.

I recall the kids back in Cambodia, who were easily contented with the simplest things. They had dreams of course but they were truly happy despite their difficulties. It was a simple belief in the promise of life. And a simple faith in the Lord.

The child-like faith we need more of.

On a sidenote, Tanya deciphered a mystery of sorts in a moment of inspiration. Haha.

Musing

2008-01-28T15:41:00.000+08:00

Being down with the flu on your offday isn’t the most pleasant thing but yeah, it frees up time for blogging. Maybe this blog has some life in it yet! Okay I must be mad, I’m talking in soliloquies.

Turning the big One-Nine not too long ago, I felt old. Though it was much brightened thanks to birthday wishes from Steph, Mother Earth, J Loke, Timo, Mark, Ruth, Nick, Lydia from Maths class, Lydia from church, Wen Jun, Jan, Bird and fellow Jan 13 babies, Tanya and Ziyan. And also from the 3 As at office haha. Even though many of ya don’t know this blog exists, thank you lovely people! Thanks so much for the dinner treat at NYDC too, Tammy, 3sa and Lydia! Sorry if I missed anyone out, my memory’s declining with age. (:

Anyway Chaoyang asked me abt my birthday wish and I told him a few, like consolidating VJ Cell and breakthroughs in work, the dreaded As and army. Deep inside, I knew my faith in God had diminished recently. And though I’ve confessed before to VJ Cell how my faith is wavering, the journey is very much my own. I’ve heard of the spiritual emptiness in army and all and I really hope I don’t backslide again.

Finally took my SATs last Sat and saw a few old friends like Yinning and Yuru as well. The paper left me kinda dazed coz it was cumulatively 5 hours plus but I guess it went okay. While I was cycling post-exam with Danae and Zhiyang, I reflected a little on the past 19 years of my life and somehow it feels like I have wasted a large part of it. A topsy-turvy journey of highs and lows, quirky nonsense like climbing over VJ’s barbed wire fencing with Timo and the inability to give up some things from yesteryear.

I forgot everything over Torrance’s bday dinner at the new Ms Clarity’s with all the cranky jokes and Candice’s virtuoso performance on the piano (haha you should work there, really!) but that sinking feeling came back to me again today.

It’s time to let go. And get on with the rest of life.

Clara once said typing out your frustrations can be therapeutic. She’s right, I feel better already.

Short Note

2008-01-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

'And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.'
Psalms 9:10

Been reading Psalms lately as part of my church's initiative but I think I'm slightly off schedule due to work and all. For those in the know, work is fine bar a few hiccups and hopefully it'll get better with time. Oh and NYDC's dont-noe-what-name dessert is heavenly.

Shall blog more at another time.

China Trip

2007-12-24T16:29:00.000+08:00

China trip was great! The dryness and lack of snow were the only dampeners. Anw Beijing is surprisingly quite developed and it's astonishing considering its sheer size. Haha so much for backward China and toilets without doors.

Haven't gotten a few photos from the cousins yet but here's four.

Sub-zero winds and rollercoaster

Conquering the Great Wall..

The ubiquitous Hard Rock Cafe

Group Photo at Tiananmen Square in front of the Mao.

I miss the overnight bridge and the slightly silly but fun Polar Bear game with cousins, the sub-zero weather and all the sights. Oh and cell Christmas party was good too. I'm facing writers block today so I shall end here.

Causes

2007-12-07T11:15:00.000+08:00

I was reading the papers over a McDonald's hotcakes breakfast this morning and this article struck a chord in me. It was summarily summed up in this quote.

'Besides clicking on that button, I have not organised meetings...or even read up more about my so-called causes. I could plead a lack of time and the excuse of generational apathy..But to be quite honest, it's more akin to hypocrisy.'(In reference to joining Facebook causes)

Haha well.

I'm guilty myself of joining a few groups in Facebook I think the last time I checked, even a few inane ones like people who sleep late for no good reason. But either way, I have to admit the article does have some truth that might even be applicable to a larger context. We profess to believe in this and that yet do we actually act out our faith? If we want to change society in a certain manner yet we continue to go about our lives in an indifferent manner without being proactive even in convincing peers and relatives of one's viewpoint (better known as lip service), then can we really blame anybody when things don't go our way?

Honestly, no. Disillusionment is alright but somehow indifference and the lack of desire to even try to save face for instance doesn't seem quite right. But sadly, social apathy has more or less taken root with many youths around me. And that's not to say I have not fallen short either. Of course, whoever's reading this right now can denounce it as silly teenage ramblings or foolish idealism but I hope there will be others who think otherwise.

Anyway reflecting on events past, I'm thankful and glad our Stanchart race on Sunday went well in general. Our timings weren't brilliant naturally due to our lack of training but it didn't really matter at the end of the day. The achievement of yet another successful race and the adrenalin charge more than made up for it. It was nice to see Nick back as well though he seemed a little dazed from his lack of sleep.

Tracking a little further back, we dug up the team key at the Bedok Reservoir Park for the 3rd year running after our training there on Friday morning haha. Quite coincidental that we bumped into Anna that day and she helped in the filming of the erm..historic moment.

And too much of a good thing can end up being less good (a la The Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns) and this applies to the Breeks brownie with cheese sauce at the Airport. I was at the airport for two days in a roll lol though for very different reasons and T3's slightly overrated in my opinion despite its design though I think its due to heightened expectations from the hype.

Am glad that VJnet outing was a success though! Ok more or less. I felt the message on empowerment was one of the better ones I've given and I hope it resonated with the cell ppl. (:

This week has been rather staid with scholarship applications (for the sake of trying really) and other admin stuff etc. Wstched quite a few DVDs and The Kingdom as well which really isn't too bad a movie in a season of lacklustre ones. Hitman wasn't too bad either though its plot was rather predictable, as all action thrillers are quite often. Out of the DVDs and novels I read, Bowling for Columbine and the novel Nabeel's Song did provoke some thought. Two causes: one that's being ignored (excessive possession of arms by youths) and another that was suppressed violently yet it was never relinquished (freedom of expression).

Believing and acting out one's faith are really two different things.

Theatricality

2007-11-26T14:09:00.000+08:00

The play yesterday was absolutely brilliant. I don’t think I’ve been absorbed by a play in this manner for sometime. Earth and Syen echoed similar sentiments. The play was almost three hours and a half long with a short 10 min interlude but it didn’t feel like a drag at all. It was a combination of the morbid and well-timed, seemingly taciturn dark humour and the influences of upbringing, totalitarianism (to a lesser extent) and literature on the lives of people. But the story extends beyond that (and all the NC16 profanities, severed toes and blood which accentuate and not cheapen the play’s impact) to its credit. The nuances of how one prizes the legacy one lives behind in the form of writing to be of greater permanence and priority in comparison to temporal earthly existence (it's about what u leave behind.) and how everyone, even the interrogators have skeletons in the closet that one is loathe to acknowledge and the multiple stories to tell ultimately create an overarching story that made all of us empathise with storyteller Katurian and gasp at the sheer horror wrought by his abused, retarded victim of a social experiment brother in executing his warped stories.

I think The Pillowman is an acknowledgement of the extent to which the arts scene in Singapore has developed.

Anyway bumped into Qian Li and his gf there and had a short chat. We wanted to hve supper at the famous Bak chor mee/Mee sua store down the road according to Syen's recommendation but it was closed on Sunday nights sadly. And we missed the last bus so shared a cab after sending Earth off.

Haha and the drinking session a couple of days back was fun as well. And bought three novels recently to kill my boredom during the flight to China heh. The quart-marathon on the 2nd is also round the corner though our stamina has diminished somewhat due to the menace called the A levels.

I’m not in the habit of blogging overly long entries so I guess I shall end here.

Musing

2007-11-23T13:12:00.000+08:00

I just read eahy's blog and I felt his latest post was quite right. I think if I do get the chance to go overseas by God's grace, I wouldn't be able to fully acclimatize myself to other countries even though I've always been someone who studied independently. Its a question of the emotional support and the comfort of familiarity accompanied by the desire for a greater challenge conversely.

But then again I might be musing in naught.

Anywhere moving away from introspection, post As hasnt been too bad at all. And lots of slacking up ahead for the coming week or so. Esp bnj and cycling in sentosa on tues (: Jiayou for the H3 econs ppl who still arent done!

It is Done

2007-11-21T12:30:00.000+08:00

I cannot put in words how I feel right now. And its great to be at a loss for words. Will blog updates on post-As when I can find time!

Whoo

2007-11-16T23:31:00.000+08:00

'The source information in Source A are pledges made in diplomatic gaiety without substantiation in the form of enforcement mechanisms which show the lack of commitment in a sense towards fulfilling the goals set out in the declaration.'

Quoted verbatim (more or less) from my random, spur-of-the-moment answer for the International History SBQ ytd.

It borders on insanity but I enjoyed writing it, very much. In a perverse sort of way.

Oh and I'm okay with the visit to the zoo (lol) 3sa, if u do read this.

Anyway..hope J2 friends have been doing well. I highly suspect Cambridge is hell-bent on cutting grade inflation this year with all the unconventional questions coming up. And the econs case study can only be summed up in the word 'massacre'.

Well either way, our destiny is more or less predestined by God so I'm not going to worry too much. Just one more paper!

Historical Perspective

2007-11-13T18:46:00.000+08:00

I'm going to pass a rather avant garde view here and kinda unsure if people doing history in the current A level syllabus are going to identify with this but here goes.

History should be more about the beauty of spontaneous and thought-provoking arguments than just recalling content (even though some thought goes into selection of info I guess.) Cause content knowledge is ephemeral at the end of the day.

I tried this essay based totally on argument and just three basic facts (quite momentous if you are in the know) and got the following comments:

'Brilliant argument and form but short on historical material'

Ahh. Can't the system be more flexible.

Halfway mark

2007-11-11T16:44:00.000+08:00

10 more days and it’s over.

Haven’t planned my post-prelims schedule yet and some friends were quite surprised. I’ll be off to China on 15th morning to 20th night (sorry to those whom I misinformed earlier) with the cousins and extended family and hoping my less than ‘liu-li’ Chinese will suffice haha. Pity I’ll have to miss Chaoyang’s wedding though. Think I’m down for a play with the 201 ppl and an as-yet-undecided outing with Mich and company as of now. And the race on Dec 2nd with the team. So yup lots more scope for post-As slacking! (:

Maybe I’ll go relief teach in January but still undecided over the place to teach presently.

Oh and I tried Shepherd's pie recently at this cafe in Suntec but I didn't like it very much. Perhaps its just a Singaporean palate thing.

Rating

2007-11-06T11:23:00.000+08:00

Hello people, this blog is clean and safe cause..

Think its due to the lack of vulgar stuff haha.

Commencement

2007-11-01T11:28:00.000+08:00

One down, several more to go.

The hall was chilly, the question everyone expected came up and I'm quite uncertain how I did for it. I was writing something about the psychological makeup of genders in AQ when the time ran out.

Its quite amazing or ridiculous, depending how you view it, how the Singapore education system makes you seat for a major exam once every 2 years, PSLE, Streaming, 'O's then 'A's. I'm real glad I'm at the end of this long marathon lol. Lord, give me the impetus to finish it well!

Short musing

2007-10-16T12:16:00.000+08:00

I think if I include my old blogs, I should be somewhere around my 200th post. Makes me wonder what I rambled on in earlier posts since I get the impression I don't blog too often.

Anyway I feel that sometimes the essence of life can be summed up in the overly cliched attribute of fighting spirit.(Yes, I'm getting philo and introspective again but well.) And fighting spirit is epitomised by faith in God and his calling for my life I feel. It is from there that I draw strength and I ascribe to the theory that one's greatest enemy is probably oneself. If we let ourselves get overwhelmed by circumstances, then how different are we really from those outside His kingdom? And to have failed, in my opinion at least, is to have lost the will to even try and wallow in self-imposed despair.

I'm going to fight on.

Post-Prelims

2007-09-25T11:57:00.000+08:00

Before the post-prelims end with the results and all tmr and in the following days, I guess its time for a longer blog post than the short ones I've penned in randomness recently haha.

Watching Moore's latest documentary (Sicko) yesterday on America's heathcare system set me thinking for a while, thoughts that put myself in the shoes of those who were bankrupted and forced to give up a blissful life because of greed on the part of insurance companies. Sure, it was a skewed view Moore presented but it has relevance in Singapore, where the income gap is stretching and the poor are increasingly disadvantaged not just in terms on heathcare but other areas. 80% of the population are heartlanders after all. Haha and I'm no socialist but the movie augmented my good feeling towards it.

Also, I feel strangely out of touch with things haha. Exams have that disconnecting effect I suppose. Caught up with quite a few friends over the past few days. And ran for the first time in ages haha. However, I must say my couch potato days have started catching up with me..my stamina has diminished slightly. Met up with the stanchart team too and it was good to finally come together after a long while. Haha and Nick, I guess we'll pick you up at 3am on Dec 2. Though I know u don't read my blog lol.

Oh and I completed the GDI campaign for Tiberium Wars in 3 days! And halfway through Grisham's The Testament. Haven't read a novel (other than my lit texts out of coercion lol) in sometime.

Anyway, on a more personal note, I feel the cell has progressed a lot and I'm really saddened to see us go our seperate ways after the next two weeks. It's like a shepherd losing his whole flock, I think I finally grasp that feeling in its entirety. Sigh. I've been rather lost recently and Bird said something that set me thinking for a while.

Alright off to Suntec in a while. (:

When the heart cries, only God hears.

Filler

2007-09-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

Quite apt in the season of Evan Almighty. Haha for those not in the know, this video's abt Noah building the ark.

Anyway post prelims hasn't been too bad I guess. The tragedy of results and intensive remedial possibly await though.

Whose Line is it Anyway (Sound Effects)

2007-09-23T22:28:00.001+08:00

End of Prelims

2007-09-18T13:15:00.000+08:00

Prelims are over finally. If it had gone on any longer, it would have been hazardous for health lol. Gonna catch up on Tiberium Wars and some cycling and maybe some other stuff!

Flash

2007-09-02T19:30:00.000+08:00

Today was a curious day.

Came late for church and had to seat in the latecomers area. Met my long lost primary 2 classmate there and what's more, met my pal for the past decade (haha since pri 3), Aaron after almost two years! Circumstances, time and intent sometimes correspond and today, it all did by chance.

Catching up with good old friends is cool. :)

Interlude

2007-08-31T00:01:00.000+08:00

I’m finally done with H3 for the 2nd time, somewhat anti-climatically. Formats and paperwork stifle creativity if you ask me. And I realized deep inside that I’m an idealist. I think it’s something most people don’t actually come round to admitting but do realize subconsciously that they are.

Deon’s birthday celebration was cool, so was yesterday’s lit exchange session at Abby’s.

I’m starting to become rather dour in expression.

Updato

2007-08-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

Updating for the sake of updating. In the dead of night.

My life hasn't amounted to much besides attempts to look thru pyramids of notes and trying to squeeze some brain juice big time, ultimately proving noble but futile. I guess you cld say my brain is in a state of obligatory disobedience. On the cheery side, I've caught the Simpsons in some ulu pandan part of S'pore, like Ang Mo Kio Hub! Heh, it is for an Easterner who is lazy to venture further away from town. The movie was good old warped cynical racist/sexist/whateverist humour. The cheese fondue pizza afterwards was great too. Cheesy is the way to go. Had a fun time people, thanks for the treat esther. :)

Also..Man U won the Charity Shield! Good start to a successful season ahead I'm sure.

Anyway term's coming to an end and I'm know for one that I'm going to miss our cell fellowship in school very much. So going out to every single one of ya, Josh L, Xinyi, Elizabeth, Weishan, Elroy, Vannessa, Yingxian, Josh C, Ziyan, Shu Xie, Denise, Wai Hong, Anna and Janice, thank you so much for everything. I know it's tough for some of you who joined the cell later but I'm grateful everything has worked out for all of us.

Alright I'm off.

Petition

2007-08-07T22:25:00.001+08:00

http://refugeesg.wordpress.com/

These people don't deserve to be living like hunted animals. Sign the petition today!

Short Turn

2007-07-20T15:43:00.000+08:00

I was trying to decide if I should close this blog and consign all the memories on it to oblivion. I don't know what swayed me otherwise.

So here I am blogging on a cool rainy Friday afternoon. Steph you're right, the weather is erratic. The past few days have been a blur and I can't recall much. Well maybe one thing. Ponning the first day of every week helps make everything a little brighter. =]

Just got the Stanchart Marathon brochure. I'm not sure if I should go. Since I've quit track last year, I haven't trained properly in so long that the rust has solidified and I've officially assumed the status of couch potato. But nick (if he makes it on time planing down frm aust) and eujinn are still keen and so is abby i think if her injury heals. Ah well, I guess I need time to mull over this.

Cell is something else that has been troubling me slightly too. We've grown so much that now as Josh aptly commented, the main worry is not of existence but of how to accommodate the growing batch every week. I've been thinking of putting a cap of 20 on cell membership but then again I feel the Lord wants us to multiply exponentially. Also, I'm hoping that the cell will not only be sustained next year with the J1s, but that the current batch of j2s will continue to meet up next year, somehow. I truly appreciate the fellowship we've fostered over the past year and it would be saddening for it to vaporise just like that.

I need a greater portion of His wisdom in every aspect. My results are sinking at the wrong time.

Round up

2007-07-08T21:53:00.003+08:00

Live Earth strikes me as a slightly hypocriticial attempt at saving the Earth, with excessive electricity fuelling the lights and all. But perhaps if some people are actually inspired to take up the barrage of measures suggested, then it might just be worth it. Maybe. Let's go green.

Been (diligently) spending time on H3 for the past week bar some pool time at cine and that first draft has finally been produced. I don't think any words can fully sum up that feeling of euphoria and accomplishment but yeah it certainly was satisfying to get all the convoluted ideas in my head and research notes into 3000 words. Just hope there aren't too many changes to be made after conference though.

PSC thingamajig ytd wasn't too bad as well. Just that there wasn't any food which is always a big no-no at long protracted government events. Met kartik there as well, haven't seen him in a year already. His heart's set on diplomacy and MFA. I'm uncertain where I'm going or aiming for really.

Guide me Lord.

2007-06-29T12:27:00.000+08:00

I've this bad habit of waking up real late recently. I guess it's a withdrawal symptom from the hols haha.

Anyway I was reading the news a few days ago and the tragic death of the RJC triathlete shocked me into reading the fine print twice. I don't think anyone can fully grasp the adrenalin rush of endurance running if you haven't done it before. The high it gives one is intangible and tremendous. The thrill to compete and the passion for running seems to be devolving these days but then again it can't be helped, we're overloaded with Xbox 360s and RPG games to bother. This unfortunate incident should not happen again, what's $4000 for a defilbrator SAAA? My condolences extend to his bereaved loved ones and I'm certain Thaddeus is in a far better place than the sinful world we live in. =]

And H3 Hist means research prcessing and redrafting work right after midyears. Ah I'll put it off a little longer, till next week perhaps.

Am looking forward to some cycling tonight! Night cycling with friends is always fun.

Oh and there's actually a version of Lavigne's Girlfriend in Chinese on Youtube. It sounds strange man.

At the end of the day, we all live in a yellow submarine.

End

2007-06-28T19:03:00.000+08:00

A day of euphoria and relief. Well at least short-term exhilaration till the results come along.

Random Musing

2007-06-24T19:50:00.000+08:00

Derailed for too long. Father, return me to where I should be.

Holidays

2007-06-15T19:54:00.000+08:00

The days fly by and it’s June 15th already. And once again my somewhat obligatory blog post to keep this online bastion of memories alive.

I’ve enjoyed the past few weeks, bumming around, catching up with friends, movies, clubbing and even some interaction with grassroots bodies thrown in. Satisfactory for three weeks I would say.

But I feel somewhat lost, as if my journey of self-discovery has met a few hurdles too many. The inexplicable convolution of adolescence is something I guess everyone grapples with to varying extents.

An event-by-event breakdown would be too much of a stretch so I’ll settle for a touch-and-go. The Governance Programme was an eye-opener into heartland issues and even though the air-con was a little frosty in the first meeting and the meeting slightly dreary the second time round, at least RC and CCC now mean more than just acronyms haha. Oh and clubbing was fun. I would most certainly welcome smoke-free clubs come July though.

Okay I shall cover more next time. I’m feeling much too slack to blog longer lol.

Petition

2007-06-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

http://refugeesg.wordpress.com/

These people don't deserve to be living like hunted animals. Sign the petition today!

End of Term

2007-05-25T11:13:00.000+08:00

It's the end of term, disregarding the make-ups in the hols and it has been more of a plod than a sprint. The cliched expression of time seeming never ending when things get tough and time passing too quickly when things are going fine is perhaps rather relevant in this context.

To round things up, I enjoyed VJ's choir concert albeit some sleep-inducing moments and TJ's CO concert to a lesser extent, sadly due to my lack of appreciation for Chinese orchestral music. GIC Video Conference and helping out in the organising of VMUN weren't too bad either. New friends and new experiences.

Anyway I got up this morning and gave thanks for the end of term.

Gave thanks for each and every cell member in the VJ cell, and the cherished times we shared

Gave thanks for the love of supportive friends

Gave thanks for being one of the 90 shortlisted in the Scholarship Programme, much as my maths grades suggest otherwise

And then I hesitated for a moment.

I ran out of things to say for the second time in as many days. With the troubling realisation that there was more grievance than cheer in my heart.

Used To

2007-05-11T17:00:00.000+08:00

Used To

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around.
You used to lean on me like
The only other choice was falling down.
You used to walk with me like
We had nowhere we needed to go,
Nice and slow, to no place in particular.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

I used to reach for you when
I got lost along the way.
I used to listen.
You always had just the right thing to say.
I used to follow you.
Never really cared where we would go,
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

I look around me,
And I want you to be there
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.
Look around you.
It's empty, and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we had.

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around,
The only one around.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be? Yeah.
To how it used to be.
To how it used to be, yeah.
To how it used to be.
To how it used to be.

Succinctly put and a good listen.

Perhaps Daughtry should have won American Idol.

Corrosion

2007-05-05T09:05:00.000+08:00

For continuity's sake.

Decided to revive my half-dead blog since I suddenly felt the inclination to blog. It's almost time for CCA farewells and all and as I look back on what I've achieved these past two years in VJ, I do feel a pang of regret. Especially fencing when I could have done so much better. But there's little I can change now.

Yesterday was Writers' Circle annual Glossolalia night and it was a success so kudos all round. I performed a rather nostalgic piece on the reminiscences of an old playground and my disdain for the brashness of the new one. I was kinda under-reherased so I did slow down at my first line to catch the rest of the lines I had to recite. Quite some pressure considering the poem was a long one but I think I pulled it off okay. =] And the programme and performances went fine as well so I'm really glad.

Watched Spidey 3 with the rest of the FCBC cell kids at Lido too on Labour Day. Wasn't too bad and so was the BBQ with the 06A201ers at Torrance's place. I've to say seeing one of my friends acting differently under the influence of alcohol was rather interesting to say the least haha.

Dramanight the week before was great as well, kudos to jane, daniel and ahnaf who acted really well as well as phoebs and renee for directing the plays so well. =]

Cell's going strong, I really thank God for this wonderful fellowship He has helped me plant in VJ according to His purpose.

I think that's all I can recall right now, my life has been travelling along a rather dreary tangent recently.

Sigh. And I'm tired and spent of late.

I think I'm getting old.

SVA Gold Award Entry

2007-03-24T00:06:00.000+08:00

It's finally on youtube, check it out!

Recollect

2007-03-19T13:52:00.000+08:00

Post-holiday withdrawal symptoms. That I'm-in-school-yet-ought-to-be-somewhere else kinda feeling. Decided a blog entry might be the best remedy.

Letters to Iwo Jima wasn't too bad. It's rare enough that a Hollywood production actually chooses to focus on the Japanese perspective of World War 2 and it was most refreshing that the director chose to portray both sides as victims of a common suffering. Pastamania and movie cheered me up quite some and I hope it did for Ruth as well. =]

Anyway my last few days have been memorable, to say the least. I assumed the role of the Cambodian Ambassador and ECOSOC Delegate at the 3rd SIMUN Conference at Lycee Francais and I've to say it's a great advertisement for a career in the diplomatic corps. Delegate camaraderie, thought-provoking debate and radical decisions haha. Like the declaration of Palestine as a nation state and then withdrawn at the behest of the angry US delegation who staged a walkout together with her allies. And the Russian declaration of war on Israel haha. Amidst all the fun though, sensibility did somewhat prevail over chaos and insanity and we managed to pass quite a few resolutions in the ECOSOC and General Assembly. And some success with resos as well, Ahnaf and I clinched the best resolution award in our respective councils. But awards aside, I have to say that some good friendships were forged, especially in ECOSOC and thanks Turkey for coming out with that resolution to keep in contact.

G12 Conference was sadly on the same 3 days but i battled fatigue to attend all 3 evening services! And I'm sure glad I did. It was a time of fresh anointing and impetus in Him. Pastor Cesar's faith is indeed a benchmark for all us Christians. We must guard our hearts agt resentment and in particular, these words resonated in me:
"Whatever I believe, is what God will give to me." It sums up the mustard seed faith that we should have as His children and that we can do great things if only we pray and act according to His Word.

Okay off to class.

No More Exams.

2007-03-09T14:04:00.000+08:00

It's the end of CTs so that makes today a very cheery day by default. And next week's the hols so that means it's a really cheery day. T.G.I.F.=] But celebrations start tomorrow though, I need some good rest haha.

Quoteworthy

2007-03-08T01:17:00.000+08:00

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

C. S. Lewis

How simple yet true.

Looming Tests

2007-03-04T22:09:00.000+08:00

It has been a more-than-average week. Couldn't find a better word to put it.

The death of the VJ student, who happened to be running at around the same time as my class for mock NAPFA, jolted us back to the uncertainty of reality, how we take those around us for granted, the simple joys in life coveniently ignored, the lack of appreciation for the very vitality of living today for a brand-new tomorrow. Okay I think I'm sounding a little abstract but I think it rings true in the lives of many others as well. Sadly. That even happiness these days have to be expressed in a socially-conformed manner, emo being the term with negative connotations for hidden weakness within. We're losing touch with our humanity, with ourselves.

Anyway the new VJ cell has been going from strength to strength and every week, as we're experiencing new impetus in Him and getting to understand Him better through group sharing, I'm sure we're going to become the Christian warriors and beacons of light that God has envisioned us to be.

Caught up with the O'lvlites, Tanya and Michelle yesterday over lunch and pool at Paradiz Centre. It was great fun, recounts, quirky ball tricks, chocs and all haha. Nice catching up with the two of them, real glad they're doing well (Tanya, apparently, has lots of slacking time on her hands heh.)

Common Test is round the corner and the procrastinator in me has delayed revision till a few days ago. I'm starting to realise the folly of it, considering the amount of content to study for Hist alone. And G12 Conference clashes with SIMUN! Don't wanna miss either so I'm prob going for the evening portion of G12 i guess. With Inter-school possibly in the same week, it makes for hectic, hectic hols.

About time I stop typing and hit the books.

Fatigue

2007-02-25T14:55:00.000+08:00

Discomforting drab world.

I'm surrounded by pretenders, by imposters, by friends who have fallen by the wayside and faded into oblivion, by hypocrites. And by people who care little about how those around them feel.

It hurts inside. But I know God will carry me through.

Effusion

2007-02-16T11:58:00.000+08:00

The once buoyant, exuberant
Shimmering, shining, all significant
Fade away, with little trace.
Crows take notice, treading on
Dirt accumulated
The hurt, exogenous, unabated.

Okay sometimes even I don't comprehend what I'm writing these days.

And I ponned school today cause the CNY concert wasn't worth getting up early and squeezing into bus 55 for. Can't wait for CNY, my favourite season of angpaos and good food. Time for some pigging out in the Year of the Pig heh.

Trigger

2007-02-13T16:32:00.000+08:00

New blog, new beginning. Okay actually it's just that wordpress has some technical faults so I'm back using blogspot. According to Nick T, my switch back to blogspot = less cool features, more generic and more efficient. Haha well.

Anyway kudos mich and tanya for doing well in the 'o's. =]

JC life can be summed up in one word. Sian.